The Drowning People (2008)
“ONE DOES. And the recovery I made, though never more than partial, was remarkable; I see that now. I see what Sarah did for me; can appreciate the skill with which she taught her chill lessons of self-delusion and deceit. But as I stood with Julia’s arms around me on that cold December night, trying to avoid my parents’ worried eyes, I had no idea what lay before me; no real suspicion of how difficult the path ahead would prove to be. The worries of children never endure; their fleetingness is one of the compensations of childhood. And child that I was, I did not suspect then, as I told my family that I was tired and that they should take no notice of me, that I had been initiated into a harsher world. I did not realize that those few weeks in Prague and France had taken me forever from the cheerful confines of previous feeling; that Ella’s love and Eric’s death had raised me to a colder, more adult plane of experience; that suffering in this new world could be lasting and real.
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